This coming year, 2020 some of you will experience feelings of uncertainty, apprehension, hesitations, distrust, and at some point, disbelief. You will question your ability to birth that master piece you have longed to write, build, create, etc. and because of deep rooted doubts, will procrastinate. You will sit at the computer, type a few sentences that have swirled in your head for some time, but after writing the first paragraph, doubts will begin to inundate your mind, after reading said sentences. You will question yourself, punish yourself mentally, and without hesitation, delete what you have written. “Why, you might ask, can’t I just finish what I start?” Well, I might have some answers, and suggestions for you.
Self-doubts can stem from a variety of emotional variables. You were repeatedly told that you would never reach any goals, were not good enough, never received any accolades, but instead, received continuous criticism. No matter how hard you tried, you were never praised nor for that matter, recognized. Your self-esteem is so low, you can’t even scrape it with your nails. You can’t seem to receive compliments, as you don’t feel you deserve them. When you actually accomplish anything worthy of mention, you get into that, “Impostor Syndrome,” e.g. The inability to accept praise for what you have accomplished. Not only can this malady hurt you Psychologically, but Physiologically as well.
So, here you are today, an adult who still thinks as a child. Well, time to grow up, and begin that arduous trek that will catapult you onto that self-perceived unreachable mountain top. “How do I reach that mountain top?” Let’s begin, by taking it one step at a time. Sit down at your computer, write something you find positive about yourself. It can be one sentence, or even a short paragraph. Here’s what you have to do:
1: Study what you have written. How does it look to you? Are you pleased with it?
2: Read it over, and over, until you are fully satisfied with its contents. Now, write another paragraph of what you have accomplished in the past, no mater how minute. How does it feel? Are you slowly feeling the rush? Hmm! Not yet? It’s OK!
3: Write three paragraphs, in which you describe your goals for this year, 2020
4: Instead of reading it to yourself, stand in front of a mirror, belt it out, and smile as you do. How did it come across to you? Were you pleased as to how you looked? Were you pleased with the way you read it? Was your killer smile still there? You’re on your way.
5: Now, begin telling yourself, that what you just wrote is very good. Pat yourself on the back, walk straight, and not in a defeated manner. Maintain that killer smile, and above all else, give yourself kudos.
As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Well, so what! You are not Rome. You are a great gift from God to the world. He gave you a gift, and the ability to share it with those around you. You have been crawling far too long. Time to start walking. As I previously stated, take it one step at a time. Don’t give up, but rather, increase your speed each day. You’ll be at full speed before you know it.
You are there. Just reach up, and touch the top of that mountain.
Johnny Velazquez, PhD
DISCLAIMER: The above should not be considered as Psychological advise, but rather, suggestions.
Excellent advice for a writer…or any one really! For me, it truly does have to “feel” good. I’ve started paying attention to that and it helps!
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Hi Jacquie. Thank you so much for your positive comments. This means the world to me. I’ve had to confront these demons in thew past. Thank God I was able to forge ahead, by believing in my capabilities. Blessings.
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Very timely Johnny. I just watched a short series by Roger Federer on embracing doubts and how it makes us more powerful in doing what we’re meant to do. Thx for reaffirming.
Also, nice responsive design with your WordPress theme.
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Thank you Greg. Was not aware of the short series by Roger. Glad I was able to reaffirm his take on the subject. Also, glad you were able to get something out of it. Blessings.
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Johnny, I love how positive you are. I try to strive for that myself. If we can learn that we are worthy, then we can overcome a lot of our fears and doubts. Great post and as always thanks for your positive insights!
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Thank you Lisa. I had a fantastic role model in my dad. He always told us kids, to think positive in all situations. He would constantly say, “Hey, it could have been worse, so, try it again, and make it better.” He also made it a point in letting us know, that we were better than what the circumstances dictated. Good comments. Blessings.
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Nice, encouraging words, Johnny. this should be very helpful for people who don’t yet have faith in their ability to write interesting, worthwhile text.
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Thank you, Beth. I do hope that this post will have a positive impact, on those who are currently going through a similar situation. Good comment. Blessings.
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Great advice, Johnny. It’s easier to overcome the doubt you receive from others than it is to overcome the doubt within yourself.
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Thank you. When we receive doubts from others, we get into the, “I’ll show you,” mode. By doing that, we do get going. Time to get into that mode,when those doubts come from within. Good comment.
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Thank you for the much-needed encouragement, packaged with a gentle kick-in-the-pants. 🙂 Love the title too. It’s always nice to know I’m not the only one with doubts. I’m off to try some of your suggestions…
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Hi Meredith.Thank you for stopping by. Hope my kick in the pants was somewhat gentle.:) We all have doubts at one time, or another, but if we allow them to dictate our way of life, we will remain caged up. Time to fly! Blessings.
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Great LIFE advice! We are so quick at tearing ourselves down aren’t we? I think the greatest challenge and ultimately the core of what you share is that we need to stop seeking validation from outside and start to trust ourselves, trust GOD and be gentle with ourselves. All too often I find myself in that position, starting to write then stopping, unable to find the words to keep going.. Yet in my head what I wanted to share was so clear! Why is it that when I start to transfer thoughts to paper I begin to doubt the validity or clarity of my message…. I’ll keep your words in mind and just write, then read and keep on writing until it FEELS just right. 🙂
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Thank you so much for your comments. Often times, we become our own worse enemies, instead of nurturing what God has given us. So many concepts that would have helped humanity have been lost, because of these self-doubts. We need to persevere. Blessings.
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Thanks for this. Timing is perfect. I’ve been going through a period of self-doubt. I will try the exercise.
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Hi Donna. Thank you for visiting. Glad it was timely. Just approach everything with an open mind.Know this, you are gifted, other wise you would not be involved in your chosen career. Don’t look to your left, nor your right. This is the time to develop tunnel vision. Stay focused, look straight ahead, and grab that illusive target. Listen, you’re not alone. If you find yourself, slipping, talk to any one within earshot. I’ll be here also. Just drop me an E-mail whenever you feel the need. Blessings.
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I’m with Jacqui. I have to feel the urge to really do something, especially blogging. Although I blog every week, the content has to come from my heart. I try not to compare myself to others, which is also super-important. Nice tips. Thanks for posting this.
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Hi Laurie. You’re so right. You need to write from the heart, not just a post in order to fill some space. Thank you for mentioning the fact that you have to be you. Thank you for your comments. Blessings.
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Hello Johnny; Thanks for sharing your method. It sounds so simple, but then often our problems come from th fact that we are trying to make things more difficult for ourselves than they should be. I feel like i ended 2013 keeping 2014’s goals. i had set a goal of recording my first youtube videos and just barely beet the dropping of the ball with a christmas message. last week i recorded my first youtube show using a client’s amusement park carousel video with my commentary to make the presentation. This year my goal is to start visiting my clients and doing these show case episodes in person. and naturally i plan to sell more amusement equipment and generate better commissions. I am blessed with many skills and talents most notably the ability to take on and complete challenging tasks. Thanks again for the post and God bless you, max http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2opTf8YxYh4
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Hi Maxwell, Your comments are uplifting. Glad you are using those God given talents. He gives them, and expects them to be used for His glory. Full speed ahead. Keep me posted, and if there’s anything I might be able to help with, please fell free to call. God Bless you too.
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Great advice here. Everyone needs motivation from time to time.
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Hey, jbutler. You are so right on. We all need a push now and then. Glad I have a great support group, among such prolific writers as you. Blessings.
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Great advice Tony. I was struck by your comment to walk upright and not with a defeated posture. Studies have shown that walking/sitting in a hunched over “defeated” manner actually sends chemical messages to our body to reduce/increase the level of testosterone or cortisol in our bodies. In other words, our bodies posture changes the way we feel and think. Amy Cuddy does a great talk on TED about it.
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Thank you Debra. BTW, It’s Johnny, not Tony.Lol. When I counseled gang bangers, they would point out, that those who walked with their heads held high, and in an upright posture, were for the most part, left alone. They knew that these individuals would put up a good fight. They didn’t want to confront someone who demonstrated that much confidence. Predator will seek out the weak ones. I will check out, Amy Cuddy. Good comments. Blessings.
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Hahahahahahahha…sorry, no idea where Tony came from.
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I enjoyed your step-by-step process to get to the top of the mountain. Great idea to create milestones while we work towards reaching our goals.
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Hi Jen, I have always used this exercise with young people, involved in career counseling. These methods can work if applied with great expectancy. Thank you. God Bless you.
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Sometimes I get the feeling of failure. Your suggestion is nice to try.
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Thank you, Bindhurani. The fact that you have a successful blog, tells me that those feelings of failure, are nothing but those doubts I have mentioned in this blog. Glad you are going to try my suggestions. In my book, you are successful. Don’t allow anyone, or anything to tell you different. Blessings.
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Tony after reading your article I really felt better. I just went to an obedience trial yesterday and we didn’t qualify. Today I looked back and thought of what we did accomplish and it really made me feel good. I hear all the time you really can’t do anything with a Dachshund because they are so stubborn. How many people do I know are stubborn. My tiny little dog was next to a big Doberman and a Husky and she sat there. I have made the words to this song my theme.
There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side
It’s the climb
Have a great day
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Thank you Arleen. No matter what blogs I visit, when I see your name on the comments sections, I know I am in for a treat. You demonstrate such insights in your responses. Glad that my post made you feel better. Really appreciate this observation. Love the song. Take care, and have a blessed day.
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I’ve been making an effort to truly conquer doubt and set achievable goals this year. I really think it comes more naturally to some people than others, but awareness is always half the battle.
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Thank you Jeri. Many are quite aware of what they have to do, in order to accomplish, but do procrastinate. Others, want to achieve badly, but allow self doubts to dictate their actions. We can not allow those variables to muddle our daily routines. Good comment. Blessings.
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Hi Johnny, Thank you for this encouraging post. I’ve been suffering from the January blah’s and needed a boost! I especially love the title. 🙂
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Thank you Peggi. January is not my favorite month. So much planning. Glad this post has given you the boost you needed. Hey, have a great 2014! Blessings.
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This post makes me feel good! I sometimes doubt myself despite the fact that I know I can do well. I have to motivate myself everyday. This is such good advice, I’m going to incorporate it into my daily routine.
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Hi Niekka. Happy that this post has touched you. Greatly appreciate your encouraging comments. From time to time, I incorporate these exercises as well. Take care, and be blessed.
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If your intuition tells you to do things differently, at least create a backup, so you’ll have it for later
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Hi Linda, Thank you so much for your comments. Appreciated. Blessings.
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I liked your post so much that I mentioned it in the comments for my recent post, “Benefiting From a Journal” at http://womenmakingstrides.com/2014/01/31/benefiting-from-a-journal/ . Thanks for your helpful ideas!
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Hi Susan. Your comments are greatly appreciated. Also, thank you for the mention on your post. Greatly honored. Blessings.
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I think this is the first time I have seen practical help for confidence, self esteem and motivation. Absolutely terrific.
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Thank you! You have made my year! 🙂 Good to know that this post has not fallen on deaf ears. Blessings.
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Johnny, in making my way back to catching up with everything since being without my laptop most of last week I am so happy to have at last read this gem of a post. All I can really is a resounding ‘thank you’ as I really needed this message today. I am constantly riddled with self-doubt and my battles with it. This positive, and may I say very practical and sound, article is so helpful in so many ways as you give real, practical steps to help counter these negative and destructive forces. Your encouragement to all of us is a very great blessing indeed . Blessings right back to you 🙂
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Hi Sherri, Thank you so much, for your kind words. They mean the world to me. I’m pleased that my post has been helpful. That’s what I strive to do. We need to be able to accept praise from others, by learning to accept our God given gifts. We need to get rid of these guilt feelings, once and for all. Again, thanks. Blessings.
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Absolutely Johnny, and thank YOU. Knowing our God given gifts is the key. Blessings to you as always 🙂
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PS Meant to say I have never heard of ‘Imposter Syndrome’ . I find it almost impossible to accept praise from others, meaning I am so thankful for it but I find it so hard to believe it in my heart about myself. Thank you for shedding light on this and what can be done to help. God Bless you Johnny.
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It is like you have entered my thoughts and pulled them out for everyone to see! This is the reason why my blog was created; to be able to approach my fears through writing and having others (such as yourself) post amazing blogs as this one. I will do this exercise soon and post it as a blog post in your honor. Thank you for this amazing read this morning.
Best,
Latoya
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Thank you so much, Latoya. Your comments are most encouraging, and helpful. Too many negative ideas running through our minds, but when they attempt to enter, or muddle my thought process, I erase them quickly, and forge ahead. We are much more stronger than we realize. Blessings.
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Great advice. We are often so hard on ourselves. Being pleased with what we’ve written may seem like an endless ocean of treading through the details of every sentence. Love this post.
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Hi Renee, Thank you so much for stopping by. Glad you liked the post. So sad to see so many creative, fantastic writers beat themselves up. Wonder how many best sellers have gone by the way side. Blessings.
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Inspirational!
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Thank you, Andy. Coming from some one as prolific as you, means the world to me. Blessings.
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Thank you for this! Blessings. 🙂
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Thank you Ms. Vee. Greatly appreciated. Blessings.
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You are welcome. I can’t forget to peek around and explore your musings! 🙂
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Reblogged this on My Take On It..
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