This coming year, 2020 some of you will experience feelings of uncertainty, apprehension, hesitations, distrust, and at some point, disbelief. You will question your ability to birth that master piece you have longed to write, build, create, etc. and because of deep rooted doubts, will procrastinate. You will sit at the computer, type a few sentences that have swirled in your head for some time, but after writing the first paragraph, doubts will begin to inundate your mind, after reading said sentences. You will question yourself, punish yourself mentally, and without hesitation, delete what you have written. “Why, you might ask, can’t I just finish what I start?” Well, I might have some answers, and suggestions for you.
Self-doubts can stem from a variety of emotional variables. You were repeatedly told that you would never reach any goals, were not good enough, never received any accolades, but instead, received continuous criticism. No matter how hard you tried, you were never praised nor for that matter, recognized. Your self-esteem is so low, you can’t even scrape it with your nails. You can’t seem to receive compliments, as you don’t feel you deserve them. When you actually accomplish anything worthy of mention, you get into that, “Impostor Syndrome,” e.g. The inability to accept praise for what you have accomplished. Not only can this malady hurt you Psychologically, but Physiologically as well.
So, here you are today, an adult who still thinks as a child. Well, time to grow up, and begin that arduous trek that will catapult you onto that self-perceived unreachable mountain top. “How do I reach that mountain top?” Let’s begin, by taking it one step at a time. Sit down at your computer, write something you find positive about yourself. It can be one sentence, or even a short paragraph. Here’s what you have to do:
1: Study what you have written. How does it look to you? Are you pleased with it?
2: Read it over, and over, until you are fully satisfied with its contents. Now, write another paragraph of what you have accomplished in the past, no mater how minute. How does it feel? Are you slowly feeling the rush? Hmm! Not yet? It’s OK!
3: Write three paragraphs, in which you describe your goals for this year, 2020
4: Instead of reading it to yourself, stand in front of a mirror, belt it out, and smile as you do. How did it come across to you? Were you pleased as to how you looked? Were you pleased with the way you read it? Was your killer smile still there? You’re on your way.
5: Now, begin telling yourself, that what you just wrote is very good. Pat yourself on the back, walk straight, and not in a defeated manner. Maintain that killer smile, and above all else, give yourself kudos.
As the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day.” Well, so what! You are not Rome. You are a great gift from God to the world. He gave you a gift, and the ability to share it with those around you. You have been crawling far too long. Time to start walking. As I previously stated, take it one step at a time. Don’t give up, but rather, increase your speed each day. You’ll be at full speed before you know it.
You are there. Just reach up, and touch the top of that mountain.
Johnny Velazquez, PhD
DISCLAIMER: The above should not be considered as Psychological advise, but rather, suggestions.