Catch A Bully,By The Horns

Bullies, whether at school, home, or local neighborhoods, come in all shapes, sizes, ethnic/ racial makeup, and social status. They are habitually cruel, and overbearing, toward smaller, and weaker children. One could argue that they can also be seen as thugs, ruffians, and intimidators. They are always on the prowl, or on the lookout for that weaker link. They tend to express few, or if any, feelings, other than their own needs, or desires. They have limited ability to see the needs of others, and no consideration for the ones they victimize. They do not, for the most part, express any concerns for others, and express disdain for any intervention. They are not able to form any relationships, or working alliances. They also see concerned peers, and adults, as interfering, and annoying.
Bullies are running rampart in today’s society, and the bleeding hearts, those who would label intervention as punishment, are contributing to this malady that’s on the rise. When confronted by an adult regarding bullying incidents, denial is written all over their faces. “Who me! I didn’t do anything.” First line of defense, denial. Their facial expressions tend to be mostly apprehensive, and somewhat indifferent. They will become defensive, and loquacious. Due to this maligned behavior, they keep to themselves, unless surrounded by weaker peers, or other bullies, and their social relationships appear to be limited.
This group, shunned by society in general, is continually searching for peer approval, and those who would become attached to this faction, if you will, friends, could be deemed as questionable. These individuals also express unusual thoughts that would suggest mental confusion, anxiety, and tension. Restrain, and self control, do not appear to be present. Their behavior also suggests that they get caught up in their own wants, and ideas, which may or may not be practical. Poor age appropriate socialization skills are quite evident, as demonstrated by the victimization of younger peers, whom they view as problematic. Overall, they have pent-up anger directed at anyone who gets in their way.

The above is a Psychological perspective of a bully. To the victims, they are nothing but mean, minded kids, looking to perpetrate their selfish wills on defenseless ones.
I grew up in a minister’s home, with loving, but strict parents. We were always told not bully anyone, and to defend those being bullied. As a young man, my fathered boxed, and taught me that art. Being the respected minister that he was, and in great demand, we never stayed in one place, longer than three years. As a direct result, we attended various schools throughout the country. Needless to say, we were always confronted by said bullies, whenever we would attend a new school. Our dad did not want us to be subjected to these abuses, therefore he instructed us to face these guys, and without hesitating, to hit them on the nose as hard as we could, thus causing nose bleeds. We followed his instructions well. That’s how we dealt with this bunch. They would never bother us after that.

There are those who will continue to feel bullied. What can they do? I would advice them to do as we did, but are they up to the task? I don’t have the answer nor the solution to each individual problem. I knew what to do, and so did my siblings. I just hope and pray that the victims, in this case, children, will grow up to have normal lives. I also hope that bullies will eventually see who they really are, and change before they become the bullied ones. Remember, you never know who is around the corner. It could be that one you bullied, who is now looking to square things.
Do you have any horror stories? Talking about them might be what you need.

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14 thoughts on “Catch A Bully,By The Horns

  1. Hi Johnny, Interesting topic. I can relate since I was bullied from 7th grade on until I dropped out in 10th. I did go back and finish. I moved to Colorado at the age of 11yrs and had a Kentucky accent. I was first teased about that. Also I was a tom boy so I was teased about that. It lead me to smoking and to drugs later on. Also i was a ‘full figured’ girl so guys would try to use me. My teen years were not happy to say the least. Eventually I got away from all those horrible people and moved on, but it wasn’t a walk in the park to got through it at the time. I don’t like to think about those times in my life. But, now years later I look back and see that most of the kids had issues of their own and they dealt with it the way they knew…strike out. I see my grand daughter going through this now. First time two years ago in kindergarten and now in grade two. I always try to tell her to go play with other friends but for some reason she tries to get along with the bully. The bully will be nice sometimes and then turn on her other times. I really don’t know how to tell her to handle it other than stay away from that kid. Any ideas?

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    • Hi Lisa. Thank you for the comments. Regarding your grand daughter…does she feel secured when she is around this bully? Maybe she feels protected, or may want feel accepted by this person. She needs to be monitored, to make sure that she does not emulate this bully. Some times impressionable children can be swayed one way or another.Keep a close watch, and talk to her about her feelings toward this person. She does not need this. Ask her how she really feels about bullies, if she is bothered by their behavior or not. Has she bullied anyone herself? Talk to her about being infamous vs. famous. Blessings.

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  2. It’s unfortunate that often educators and leaders in school environments ignore the behaviors of bullies as a childhood experience. Now that the bullying campaigns are going nationally there is a little less tolerance for it but kids don’t feel capable of stopping it. I guess I like the good old school, “pop em in the nose” option!

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  3. I work with kids and was once a victim of bullying in the workplace (of all places, right?). However, it never ceases to amaze me the amount of parents that deny or get defensive when they are presented with the fact that their child is bullying another child. It’s bad enough that the kids become defensive. It took lost lives for people to realize that bullying was a serious issue and that’s absurd. I agree with your father confront them and when you do take action…hit em’ where it hurts.

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    • Hi Dee, Thank you for your comments. My next post will address bullying in the work place. Other areas will include parental, marriage, spiritual, financial, and self bullying.

      My dad was the kindest person I have ever known, and others who knew him, would agree.
      He always told us, that if we did not confront problems head on, they would dictate our way of life. He was a humble person, but not a doormat. He would not allow anyone to walk over him, nor his loved ones. At times we have to say, “Enough.” Blessings.

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  4. We have a manager at work that is a bully–that is his only skill–and despite numerous complaints, his bullying behavior continues. In fact, I got disciplined for complaining about his bullying–I feel I should’ve gone to the police, but he’s part of the ‘good ol’ boys’ club at work, so I probably would’ve lost my job.

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    • Hi Jim, Thank you so much for your comment regarding this person. I would have gone to the cops, but I’m not in your shoes. A similar thing happened to me while working for the government in California. This manager tried to instigate an altercation with me, and challenged me. Beign quite familiar with the art of boxing, I accepted. I wanted to teach him a bitter lesson. One of my co-workers suggested that I report this man. I did, he was investigated, and subsequently dimissed. I did not get personal satisfaction, but he was no longer able to throw his weight around. I wish you the best. Blessings.

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    • You should have slapped her on the nose. Well, I wonder how she turned out. Some of the bullies I punched, became good citizens, while others ended in prison. Thanks for the comment. Blessings.

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      • We live in the same small town and run into each other a few times a year. We are politely friendly now. If I had slapped her on the nose back in school, it would have been the last thing I ever did. I was my full 5’6″ and under 100 lbs, and she was BIG.

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      • You have a point there! Glad to hear that you have become politely friendly.There was this bully in HS, whom I slapped silly. We became the best of friends after that. Sadly, he continued being a bully, and years later, met his demise. Blessings.

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