Bullies, whether at school, home, or local neighborhoods, come in all shapes, sizes, ethnic/ racial makeup, and social status. They are habitually cruel, and overbearing, toward smaller, and weaker children. One could argue that they can also be seen as thugs, ruffians, and intimidators. They are always on the prowl, or on the lookout for that weaker link. They tend to express few, or if any, feelings, other than their own needs, or desires. They have limited ability to see the needs of others, and no consideration for the ones they victimize. They do not, for the most part, express any concerns for others, and express disdain for any intervention. They are not able to form any relationships, or working alliances. They also see concerned peers, and adults, as interfering, and annoying.
Bullies are running rampart in today’s society, and the bleeding hearts, those who would label intervention as punishment, are contributing to this malady that’s on the rise. When confronted by an adult regarding bullying incidents, denial is written all over their faces. “Who me! I didn’t do anything.” First line of defense, denial. Their facial expressions tend to be mostly apprehensive, and somewhat indifferent. They will become defensive, and loquacious. Due to this maligned behavior, they keep to themselves, unless surrounded by weaker peers, or other bullies, and their social relationships appear to be limited.
This group, shunned by society in general, is continually searching for peer approval, and those who would become attached to this faction, if you will, friends, could be deemed as questionable. These individuals also express unusual thoughts that would suggest mental confusion, anxiety, and tension. Restrain, and self control, do not appear to be present. Their behavior also suggests that they get caught up in their own wants, and ideas, which may or may not be practical. Poor age appropriate socialization skills are quite evident, as demonstrated by the victimization of younger peers, whom they view as problematic. Overall, they have pent-up anger directed at anyone who gets in their way.
The above is a Psychological perspective of a bully. To the victims, they are nothing but mean, minded kids, looking to perpetrate their selfish wills on defenseless ones.
I grew up in a minister’s home, with loving, but strict parents. We were always told not bully anyone, and to defend those being bullied. As a young man, my fathered boxed, and taught me that art. Being the respected minister that he was, and in great demand, we never stayed in one place, longer than three years. As a direct result, we attended various schools throughout the country. Needless to say, we were always confronted by said bullies, whenever we would attend a new school. Our dad did not want us to be subjected to these abuses, therefore he instructed us to face these guys, and without hesitating, to hit them on the nose as hard as we could, thus causing nose bleeds. We followed his instructions well. That’s how we dealt with this bunch. They would never bother us after that.
There are those who will continue to feel bullied. What can they do? I would advice them to do as we did, but are they up to the task? I don’t have the answer nor the solution to each individual problem. I knew what to do, and so did my siblings. I just hope and pray that the victims, in this case, children, will grow up to have normal lives. I also hope that bullies will eventually see who they really are, and change before they become the bullied ones. Remember, you never know who is around the corner. It could be that one you bullied, who is now looking to square things.
Do you have any horror stories? Talking about them might be what you need.